Good Morning, Everyone
What a day to feel like crap.. Even though I slept all night. I practically died last night when my head hit the pillow, I was so tired from not sleeping the night before. My nap yesterday, was really deep, too.. and didnt want to wake up then. but forced myself awake so I would sleep last night..
Dr appt today. 3pm.. Follow-up visit for surgeon that took out the gall bladder.. Hopefully, he can tell me what else is going on in there.. something is, I just dont know what.. I think its respiratory, but whether its fluid in lungs, or fluid around the heart, I dont know, but something is going on in there.. All I know is when Im laying down it hurts to take a deep breath, when Im on my left side.. right side not as bad, but still painful.. Hurts to cough, which I felt it was maybe the chestbone for a while, but not now.. So looking forward to going to the dr.. two weeks ago, the visit was okay. Just bloodwork which showed some anemia and low bloodcount. Bloodcount was up, but still low.. so taking iron pills now twice a day to help with that.. but still, no energy..
Also was told to not do the cardiac rehab, until I seen this dr,, so will see what he says today about going to that starting tomorrow. None of them are going to be happy about smoking.. which, I smoke the most sitting here, and they burn up a lot in the ashtray.. but still,, who am I kidding,, youre either a smoker or a non-smoker, and you have to figure out, which one youre going to be. and go with that.. Im tired of feeling like a second class citizen, just because I smoke. They say it takes 10 yrs off your life.. big deal, its the last 10.. so it keeps you from living in a nursing home, shitting your pants, and no one coming to visit you.. and being a pain in the ass to your relatives.. hell with it,, Im 58 yrs old,, Ive had a full life,, done everything there is to do in life, at least, twice, except dying and divorce. which both of them are close to being the same, IMO. lol
And another thing... why is it when people find out theyre dying, all of a sudden they get religion, start reading the bible, etc... its like theyre cramming for a test or something.. All I can say, about that, is one of us is going to be disappointed.. either it is true or it isnt.. My personal belief, is there is an afterlife, but it isnt what religious folks think.. we are energy.. basically, borne of stardust. And when we die, our spark, our soul, or whatever you want to call it, will continue to live on.. in what form, is merely speculation. Dont get me started on the Alien Genetics, that brought about modern humans. That is for another time.. lol..
Got on the scales this morning, and disappointed again that I havent lost anymore weight... 244,, same as yesterday.. I feel bloated, like Im holding some fluids.. taking lasix and potassium, but still feel that way.. I know dinner last night, had a lot of sodium in it, but didnt drink a lot of water with or after dinner (green beans, onions, taters, smoke sausage, and home made pepperoni/cheese breadsticks.) Just need to keep an eye on it and try harder,, Im not going to let it start going back up on me (my weight).. Id like to lose 40 more lbs or so.. If I do, great, if not, well, I aint going to let it get me down.. One of the biggest problems with our eating habits here, is eating so late.. Nana doesnt get home most nights, until 7-730... I try to always have supper ready when she gets home. Chris works, and doesnt get home, until after 5pm, and he always fixed dinner for him and Amanda, since she doesnt cook.. so theyre used to eating late.. I should just fix, eat myself at an earlier hour, and let them either fend for themselves, or eat my leftovers,. lol,, But I imagine it will continue as it has.. Not sure what I have planned for supper tonight (obviously nothing at this point) Guess Id better start thinking about it, so can get something thawed out..
50's predicted for todays weather.. heading towards 60's later in the week.. still not sure when or how much the snowstorm is going to dump. Guess I should check the weather this morning and see what theyre saying..
Guess I will cut this short today (is it short? lmao) I think I may go lay back down for a bit.. Probably could sleep a couple more hours.. I was going to take Nana into work, but she called the gal that works for us, that lives behind us, and she came and picked her up, so I could have the car.. Still need to get my truck into the shop and get it fixed.. just not sure what its going to run me.. Nana bought another car, to give to Marisa when she gets her license, and could use it, but dont have room to park it out front, with the kids vehicles out there on the curb.. and one of them broke down.. Still no word, on when or if theyre thinking of moving out..Just want them to be able to "make it" when they do.. dont know if I would offer to let them come back again.. may be time for her mom's turn.. LOL.. At least Chris works everyday, and does help out around here when he gets home.. and will do pretty much anything we ask of him..
alright, thats it,, Im done for today.. Yall have a wonderful Humpday, and we will meet yall back here tomorrow.. and a report of the dr visit..
Happy Farming,
Papaw
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